Do You Have a Love Map?

"Emotionally intelligent couples are intimately familiar with each others world. I call this having a richly detailed love map." - John Gottman

         This week I have been reading about John Gottman's love map. (The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, John M. Gottman) We are taught that when we ask questions and come to understand who our spouse is. What their likes and dislikes are we can establish a foundation that will ground our marriage and provide lasting results. As I was reading over some of the quizzes and exercises the Gottmans have put together I realized how some are the questions were ones I have never thought to ask not only my ex. But even friends or my children. I think it is so easy to get caught up in life and the hustle and bustle that we don't take the time to really get to know the ones we love.

As we really get to know people in a deep and intimate way we develop admiration, and fondness for them. We are also better at recognizing their needs and being able to support them. When we know their likes and dreams we are better equipped to celebrate and find joy with them. And able to mourn and provide empathy through the hard times. All of which connects us and brings us closer. Another thought I had was how creating a "love map" for someone we love can get us out of selfishness and only focusing on ourselves.

        I think of the example the Savior gave us. In a sense you could say he was creating "love maps" for everyone he came in contact with. While completing mission on earth he knew and loved each one of us intimately and because of this he was able to atone for us. I believe one of the reason he was so pure in his love for everyone was because he "knew" each of us. When we take the time to really know someone we can also give this Christ-like love. I enjoyed learning about the love map because it helps break down into steps and science how to truly "Love one Another".