“Neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord” (1 Cor. 11:11)

           Being divorced naturally puts you in a position to think about marriage. Questions like where did I go wrong? What If I had done this....or If he hadn't done that? Did I try hard enough? And maybe I should have seen the red flags before I married him. Are all thoughts that have gone through my mind. Divorce is awful and a way that Satan works today to make many people miserable like unto himself. That being said as I was reading this week about covenant marriage within the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Yes I had one of these before my divorce) some things stood out to me that haven't before. In 2006 Elder David A. Bednar gave a talk about the sacredness of marriage. He also explained how important a man and women's unique combination of capabilities are important in not only Marriage, and raising children but in the Plan of Salvation. A plan given to us by our Heavenly Father that whereby we can know true happiness, and return to live with him and our family members for all eternity.                 

             Since my divorce it has been hard not to think happiness in marriage as just a fairy tale. I have had doubts that I will ever find someone again that I can truly be happy with. And to be honest I was ok just being single forever. Then I read this from Elder Bednar's talk, "By divine design, men and women are intended to progress together toward perfection and a fullness of glory. Because of their distinctive temperaments and capacities, males and females each bring to a marriage relationship unique perspectives and experiences. The man and the woman contribute differently but equally to a oneness and a unity that can be achieved in no other way. The man completes and perfects the woman and the woman completes and perfects the man as they learn from and mutually strengthen and bless each other."  I immediately had an overwhelming peace and joy. I longed for this type of marriage. And surprisingly for me I didn't doubt that it was possible.

          I realized the worlds standard and the Lords standard of marriage is very different. I was dwelling to much on my own hurt, and the worlds view to define what marriage is or could be. I feel hope when I study the Lord's plan for marriage. I know that  a happy and successful marriage is possible. It is possible when we make the Savior Jesus Christ the focal point in our marriage. I like the figure Elder Bednar used. At the top of the triangle is Jesus Christ. As wife and husband continue to grow closer to him, they in turn become closer.     

            Elder Bednar says, "As a husband and wife are each drawn to the Lord (see 3 Ne. 27:14), as they learn to serve and cherish one another, as they share life experiences and grow together and become one, and as they are blessed through the uniting of their distinctive natures, they begin to realize the fulfillment that our Heavenly Father desires for His children. Ultimate happiness, which is the very object of the Father’s plan, is received through the making and honoring of eternal marriage covenants."

          So no marriage isn't a fairy tale. It will never be perfect. But through the eternal and everlasting covenant of marriage we can find happiness, and fulfill the plan of happiness our Heavenly Father has given us. And I am grateful for the hope I feel because of this truth.