Pride- The Great Stumbling Block That Humbled and Strengthened Me.

           Have you ever had an experience that forever changed you?  For me this experience was one that lasted years and ended in a divorce, and starting over by myself with my four kids. And I wouldn't change this experience for anything. Because through this experience I was humbled and because of this humility I was able to come to know my Savior and his plan in a way I don't think I could have otherwise. I gained a peace and a strength I didn't know was possible, and it came in a simple and loving way.

            For years I felt alone and frustrated with what seemed like mountain after mountain in front of me. I have always been a problem solver, determined, and rarely gave up. I have always had the mentality that I could overcome anything. These qualities served me well in life. Until I faced a problem that I couldn't fix on my own. During this time I had  friend mention maybe pride was the issue. I dismissed this idea thinking that I didn't think I was better than anyone else. A little while later I came across a talk by President Ezra Taft Benson called "Beware of Pride." This talk changed everything for me. In this talk President Benson says, "The central feature of pride is enmity—enmity toward God and enmity toward our fellowmen. Enmity means “hatred toward, hostility to, or a state of opposition.” I realized that I had been searching for all the worlds help, and my own sheer power of will to solve my problems. Yet I was living and behaving in a way that was in opposition to God's will. The next few months I worked on aligning my will with God's will. In the beginning this experience was full of sacrificing what I wanted and thought I needed and instead replacing it with faith in my Heavenly Fathers plan for me. I had to practice rigorous honesty with my self and see how pride was affecting my life. As I saw the weaknesses within me, most of which stemmed from pride I didn't even realize I had, I asked the Lord to remove these weaknesses. Then I worked on changing. And replacing these weaknesses with Christ-like attributes. This is still something I am working on today. I am grateful for the awareness this experience brought me.

            As I reflect on these times and this experience I had, I have come to realize that the Lord didn't take all my pain away, or make the hardship disappear. Instead he changed me. He humbled me and this change has helped me to know the solution to my problems isn't the absence of them. The solution is knowing with him I can withstand and weather them. I would have never understood this had it not been for the humbling experience I had years ago. I recently read this talk again this time something new stood out to me. President Benson said, "Another major portion of this very prevalent sin of pride is enmity toward our fellowmen. We are tempted daily to elevate ourselves above others and diminish them." I am also grateful for the humbling experience I had because as I have learned more about pride I have become good at honestly assessing when pride is causing me trouble again. Many times this manifests in my relationships with others. President Benson said, "Pride is a sin that can readily be seen in others but is rarely admitted in ourselves." This is how I have noticed my pride manifests the most. If I am offended or find fault with another, pride is rearing her ugly head. When I am humble I instead focus on what I need to change and have acceptance of what I can and can't change in the situation. I am continually working on developing humility and riding myself of pride. And I hope this knowledge and the experiences I had will help me to strengthen the relationships with the ones I love.

Pride vs. Humility